Hunter
by RobinByrd
Summary: AU - Dean and Sam Winchester have watched over their sister Hunter for the last three years. Now, between her studies, her upcoming trip to Madagascar and some punk in a button down shirt that seems to think it's okay to sneak through her window, things are about to get messy... and quite possibly bloody. (Castiel/OFC, Dean, Sam) Read and Review!
1. Breakfast

**A/N: Lovely readers, bare with me. I have never written AU before. Opinions/reviews would be helpful.**

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><p><strong>Chapter One: Breakfast<strong>

Hunter had been waiting for the Madagascar trip all year. Her bags had been packed practically since she found out about the trip, and it was driving her brothers insane that she wouldn't stop talking about it. She kept talking about plants and mountains and rivers and animals they had never even heard of, smiling like a big idiot the entire time. She was in the middle of describing the weather patterns for the tenth time in as many days when she was interrupted.

"We get it, Hun!" Dean cried with a mouthful of food the Monday morning before she left. "Madagascar! Lemurs. Blah, blah, _fucking blah_!"

Sam laughed into his coffee mug as Hunter scowled at her oldest brother, her green eyes, so like his, hard and fierce. Her face was set in such a way that suggested he should prepare for broken bones. "It's not just lemurs, Dean," she started, her voice stern and agitated. "Do you have any idea what kind of flora they have in that region? For that matter, the insects?"

Sam cut off Dean before he could answer, doing his best as middle-child to defuse the bomb that was his siblings. "Relax, Hun. He just means that you've talked a lot about it," Sam said gently, elbowing Dean when he opened his mouth to interject (or complain, Sam was never sure), silencing him. "I know it's only a few days away, and you're excited, but I'm pretty sure we know everything about Madagascar at this point."

"Really?" Hunter said, eyes narrowed. "I find that hard to believe."

Sam sighed. "Madagascar is the world's fourth largest island in the world," Sam recited, "after Greenland, Papua New Guinea and Borneo."

"The languages are French, English and..." Dean paused for a minute looking at Sam. "Magsy?"

"Malagasy," Sam corrected. He took a bite of his scrambled eggs as Dean nodded, going on to the next bit of trivia his sister had ingrained in his brain. "One of the most important industries of Madagascar is their breweries-"

Hunter scowled as she rolled her eyes. "You _would_ remember that," she scoffed.

Dean gave her a wolfish smile. "I like me some beer," he said with a wag of his brows. "But they also have strong industrial roots in sugar, paper and cement."

Sam picked up as soon as Dean finished speaking. "And the highest mountain is Maromokotro, which is almost 3000 metres, and you plan on climbing it before you die."

"And," Dean said waving a peice of bacon as he spoke, "it only has two seasons. Hot and rainy, or cold and dry." Dean chuckled as he added, "Both of which sound awful."

Both of the brothers stared at their baby sister, who sat with her arms folded over her chest, her eyes darting between the two. Her bottom lip was puckered out as she frowned, trying to remember when she had told them all these things. Finally she sighed, unfolding her arms to rest them on the table as she said, "Touche... but you forgot to mention the lemurs."

Sam laughed, Dean raising a brow at her and smiled as he chewed. "I believe I did say blah, blah, fucking lemurs."

A smile tugged at the corner of Hunter's lips as she gave her brother a raised brow. After a few moments she spoke again.

"I'm sorry guys," she sighed. "I didn't realize I had been talking about it so much. I'm just super excited, you know? It's my first time out of America, and I'm going to one of the most beautiful places in the entire world." She paused for a moment before adding, "I bet Dad would know all about it."

Dean paused with a peice of bacon halfway to his mouth, his eyes darkening slightly as a sadness passed over his features.

"I'm sorry," Hunter said quickly, realizing her mistake. "That was stupid, forget I said anything. Sorry."

Dean shook himself quickly, his signature carefree grin falling over his face instantly, though it didn't touch his eyes. "It's okay, Hunter," he told her. "We should be able to talk about him. We can talk about him if you want."

Sam shot a worried look towards Hunter, and she understood what he was trying to say. _Tread carefully, we don't know if he means it_.

"He used to read me Dr. Seuss," Dean blurted. Hunter jumped at his sudden vocalization. Her gaze quickly shifted to Dean as he chuckled. His eyes were on his plate, his bacon dropped and forgotten.

"_Green Eggs and Ham_ every St. Patty's," he mumbled. "Sammy hated it."

Sam laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "Only because you used to call me 'Sam-I-ammy' for weeks afterwards."

Dean laughed genuinely, the sad, haunted look fading somewhat from his face and being replaced with a carefree, childlike joy. "Oh, fuck," he laughed. "Sam-I-ammy. I forgot about that!"

Sam sighed and shook his head as though he was exhasperated, but while Dean was busy laughing, he sent Hunter a quick wink. She let out a careful breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

Hunter hadn't known their father, John, long before he had died. She had only moved in with them after her mother had died from heart failure, leaving John, Dean and Sam as her only living relatives. She had shipped herself to John's doorstep when she was 15, taking what little money she had to run from the hospital to the address that was scrawled in her mother's journal, begging them with tears in her eyes to take her in, to not let her end up like those other kids in the foster homes she had heard so much about. Dean had been the one to convince John to let her stay, his voice ringing through the walls as he screamed that she was blood, that she needed them, that he wouldn't abandon her, that he cared even if John didn't. John didn't speak with her much after telling her that she could stay, except to give her random gifts of money or weapons or to talk of the war. Dean, on the other hand, had taken to her immediately, taking her under his wing, as he had Sam, becoming more of a father figure in a few days then John had been in her entire life. Dean had been 21 at the time. Sammy was only 17.

John had died a year later.

Dean had been home alone with him, and Hunter and Sam still didn't know the full story. They were told that John had died from a drug over-dose, but the haunted look that Dean got when they spoke about him suggested that there had been more to the story then they knew. They never pried though, and they tried to bring up John as little as possible. Still, he came up every now and then, and Hunter and Sam always carefully sidestepped, changing the conversation as quickly as possible.

"Okay," Dean said as he clunked his coffee cup down. "Me and Sam have to get to work. Did you want a ride today?"

Hunter smiled at her older brother, plucking a piece of bacon off his plate as she stood. "Yeah, drop me at the library," she said closing her books on the table and stacking them to pack into her bag, bacon hanging from her mouth. "Have to do some research."

Sam sighed as he pulled his boots on. "You're worse then me, kiddo, and I went to Stanford."

"For _two months_," Hunter said incredulously as she jammed books into her bag. "I plan at being at Oxford for _years_."

"All right, you two, quit bragging," Dean laughed. "And we all know I win here anyway because I'm the prettiest."

"Also the jerkiest," Sam smiled.

"And the bitchiest," Hunter interjected.

"Whoa!" Dean said seriously, pausing in tying on his boots. "Sam's the bitchiest. Long established truth."

Hunter rolled her eyes. There were just some jokes between her brothers that she would never be a part of. "All right, fine," she conceded. "And I'm the winning-est. Can we please just go?"

Dean stood, a hand clapping Hunter on the shoulder. "Sure thing, Charlie Sheen."

Hunter just rolled her eyes again as they all trudged out the door.


	2. The Library

**Chapter Two: The Library**

Dean and Sam dropped Hunter off at the library down the street from her high school on their way to Bobby's garage. Dean handed her a twenty, which she quickly shoved in her back pocket without question. She'd learned that it was easier to just accept whatever cash Dean handed her, as he would be sure to make a scene until she did. She rarely ate at school, her only real vice being coffee, but she always had change for that. Dean's sporadic gifts of tens or twenties and even the odd fifty were the whole reason she was going on her trip to Madagascar. She was sure he didn't realize how much money he had handed her over the three years she'd been living with him and Sam, and when she tried to bring it up, he simply stated that he could afford it and not to worry.

She waved as Dean and Sam pulled into traffic, trotting up the steps to the library's front door.

Hunter only had to rap twice before there was a buzzing sound and she pulled the door open, a smile on her face. Usually when Dean drove her, she got there before the librarian. It appeared today was one of the exceptions, and she noticed him behind the main desk trying to set the coffee maker to brew as he fought back a yawn. She couldn't help but smile. She had had a crush on the librarian since the first time she'd seen him, early one morning almost a year ago as she banged on the doors of the still-locked library, begging for entrance since she had completely forgotten to study for her English exam. He'd opened the door with an eyebrow raised, asking what could be so important at 6 am.

_"I have an exam today," she gasped. "I just need an hour or two, please. I need at least an 80, and I completely forgot to study. Please."_

He had conceded to let her in, even helping her to find the books she needed before offering a cup of coffee and sitting down to help her, quizzing her on various forms of poetry and asking for in depth descriptions of symbolism from the short stories she was studying. He placed his finger on his chin every time he asked a question and Hunter couldn't help but smile, something about his hands making her stomach twist. He couldn't be more than three or four years older than her, but the wisdom in his too-blue eyes seemed to be infinite, and the way he spoke was more like that of a sixty year old scholar. If it weren't for his messy black hair, flawless skin and the illScarlett t-shirt under his button down, she would have been sure that he was older than his early twenties.

As it was, she had finally turned eighteen last week, finally legal, and she was determined to see this boy somewhere besides the library. She could actually see him outside the library without it being weird. The thought had her smiling to herself as she approached the front desk.

"Hey, Cas," she called as she set her bag on the counter, walking around to fix the settings on the coffee maker for him. "Long night?" He sighed and rubbed at his eyes with one hand, leaning back against the counter.

"The longest," he said quietly, his voice deep and raspy. "I swear, school is going to kill me before I even decide what I want to do."

Hunter laughed as she flicked the button on the coffee maker, making sure there was enough water in it to brew a full pot. Cas looked like he needed it. "What are you even taking right now? You're here almost every day."

Cas smiled sheepishly as he looked over at Hunter. "Everything?" he laughed. "I just started astronomy last week, and it's a night course. It's been hell with the job in the mornings and the art classes in the afternoon, but it's also cool to learn about all those different star systems, different universes." He yawned again, looking at the coffee pot longingly as it slowly filled. "It's amazing how small we are."

"It really is," Hunter conceded in a low voice, her eyes on the coffee maker as well. There was a long few minutes while the two of them stood side-by-side, Hunter's arms crossed over her chest, Cas' spread over the counter behind him as he leaned back. His usual button down shirt was open, revealing a grey Sesame Street t-shirt underneath. Hunter giggled, shaking her head. Cas looked over at her, his eyes red and puffy from lack of sleep, a small, tired smile on his lips.

"What?" he asked quietly. "Something I didn't say?"

Hunter looked over at him again, unable to stop herself from chuckling quietly. "_Can you tell me how to get..."_ she sang softly.

_"How to get to Sesame Street_," Cas finished easily, laughing quietly along with her. "It was a gift, all right? Don't hate." He let out another long yawn.

Holding her hands up in mock-surrender, Hunter moved away from the counter to start preparing their mugs. She tossed two sugars into Cas' cup and five into her own, pulling a carton of milk from the mini-fridge that one of the other librarians, Balthazar, had insisted on bringing in. The coffee was finished brewing by the time she had straightened up, and she grabbed the pot as she hummed the Sesame Street song to herself quietly. After she finished with the coffee, she handed Cas' cup to him and he gave her a thankful smile, chugging almost all of it in one go.

The way he moaned had Hunter's heart threatening to escape her chest, her mug freezing halfway to her lips as she glanced over at him. His eyes were closed, a small smile on his lips. "You make the best damn coffee, Hunter," he said quietly.

Hunter shook herself, focusing back on her own coffee and taking a sip to hide her smile. "Thanks," she murmured as she turned to set the mug down... and maybe a little to hide her blush. "Dean says the same thing." Why the hell did she say that?! Why the hell was she talking about her brother? She should be setting up for asking the guy out, not boring him with random family trivia.

"Dean's the older one, right?" Cas asked, pulling her from her panicky reverie. "The one with the pretty car?"

"Yeah," Hunter sighed, turning to her book bag and beginning to pull books out. "I swear, he loves that fucking thing more then oxygen."

She heard Cas laugh and shot a look over her shoulder, eyebrow raised. He coughed slightly, quelling his laughter before asking. "Did you just _curse_?"

Hunter rolled her eyes, turning her focus back to her books. "I curse all the time."

"I've never heard it," Cas said. "You're always so academic. But I guess talking about your.. what did you call them? Barbarian brothers? Must bring out the worst in you."

Flipping open her biology book, Hunter shot Cas a wary glance. "You have no idea."

Cas full out smiled at her, causing her breath to hitch. She had never met a man who had such a devastating smile. Well, maybe Dean, but as her brother it didn't work on her. Cas though? Cas was down right _stunning_ when he smiled.

Hunter stared at his lips, loving the way they curved over his teeth... she was completely incapable of looking him in the eye, her eyes drawn to that perfect smile. The next words out of her mouth surprised her, and came out in a jumbled mess.

"Wannahavedinner?"

Cas laughed, another brilliant display of white teeth and deep, sultry tones. "What about dinner?"

Hunter forced herself to look up to Cas' eyes. "We're doing it," she said simply, her cheeks heating up.

Cas lifted an eyebrow and turned from Hunter, taking a slow sip from his mug, and letting out a long sigh before turning back to her. "We are?"

"Yes," Hunter said quickly. "Yes, we're doing dinner... and my brothers are going to hate you."

Cas nodded, his lips pursed as though deep in thought. "You want me to meet your brothers," he finally said. "I'll wear my Bob Marley shirt. I don't want to disappoint, after all."

"Disappoint?" Hunter parroted, a look of confusion coming over her face.

Cas looked over at her, blue eyes meeting her green ones. "You said they'd hate me," he informed her. "I refuse to disappoint."

It was a minute before Hunter answered, trying to process what was just said. "You... you're agreeing?"

"I didn't think you were giving me a choice," he smiled. "And I like bossy women. They're the most fun in bed." He winked before turning away to sort through the returned library material, leaving Hunter with her jaw practically on the floor.


	3. Help?

**Chapter Three: Help?**

Hunter laid awake in her bed that evening after school, textbook open on her lap, completely forgotten. Cas was going to be there in three days. She had t_hree days_ to somehow convince her brothers that they_ not_ act like her brothers. She knew Sam would be welcoming and supportive. The worst he would do is pull Cas aside to give him a "talking to." But that's all it would be. Talk.

Dean was the real problem.

How in the hell was she going to convince her loving, gentle, over-protective (and maybe slightly psychotic) brother to act like a normal human being and not kick the shit out of her first date in years? She was pretty sure Dean still thought of her as a baby, even though she had four aikido tournaments under her belt, and a cut-throat attitude. She laughed to herself as she thought about how it would play out. Dean, always so sure of himself, attacking Cas and ending up flat on his back as he gasped for breath, his hundred and ten pound sister having shown him his place.

She knew that it would never go that smoothly.

With a sigh, Hunter closed the book on her lap, studying having become a lost cause at this point. She stared at the ceiling, blue eyes and a too-white smile appearing above her. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying her best to push down the excitement and nervousness and think of the possibilities of Thursday. She left for Madagascar Friday, so she had to be careful. She wanted both Cas _and_ Dean to be there when she got back. She needed to play this just right.

Glancing at her clock, she saw it was only four-thirty. Sam and Dean would be working at Bobby's until at least six. This may be the only chance she had. She grabbed her cell off the table next to her bed, hitting call when she found _Moose_ in her contacts. Dean was under _Squirrel_, but she'd never tell him that.

After five rings Sam picked up. "Hun, you okay? Is something wrong?"

Hunter rolled her eyes scowling loud enough for Sam to hear as she did so. "Can't I call my brother without something being wrong?" she asked defensively. "Jesus, Sammy, I_ can_ take care of myself. I'm not a kid."

She heard the sound of some whirring power-tool as Sam murmured something to someone before he spoke to her again. "Yeah, I know, I know. You're some sort of ninja," he quipped. "Just hold on a sec, I'm going to the office."

Hunter waited patiently, counting her breaths. She was only at six when Sam spoke again. "So, what's up? I assume you didn't call for a ride, or you would've called Dean."

"Sam..." Hunter began, her voice breaking just the slightest bit. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Sam," she said more forcefully.

"What's wrong, Hunter?" Sam demanded, his voice taking on the older-brother tone she hated so much. It didn't suit Sam. The over-protectiveness was Dean's job. "What the hell happened?"

"Uhm..." Hunter paused, taking a deep breath. She figured it was easier if they didn't dance around it. "I have a date."

There was a long pause and Hunter started to wonder if Sam had hung up. She had just opened her mouth to say _hello_ when Sam said, "When?"

"Thursday?" For some reason her response had come out as a question, her surety that Sam was on her side quickly fading. "At our place," she blurted. "He'll be there at seven-thirty."

Sam was silent for another long moment before he sighed. "You're hoping Dean won't kill him," he muttered.

A hysterical laugh bubbled from Hunter's lips. "Well, yes, that would be ideal."

Sam sighed again, and Hunter could practically _hear_ him run his fingers through his hair. She shook her head as she tried to calm her suddenly trembling hands. "Who is he?" Sam said, doing his best to keep his voice light and conversational. Hunter was eternally grateful. "He a boy from school?"

Hunter coughed a little. She hadn't really thought about this part. "Well... not exactly..."

Sam waited.

"He's a librarian."

Sam barked out a laugh. "Good one, Hun," he said after his laughter died down. "But I can't help you if you don't tell me who he is."

Hunter stayed silent, her lips pursed, her hands beginning to shake again. She gripped the phone tighter, fisting her other hand to try and quell the trembling.

When Sam finally spoke again, his voice was quiet and deadly, closer to Dean's then his own. "You're lying."

Hunter stayed silent.

"_No," _Sam breathed out. "How _old_ is he? What the hell is he doing trying to get with a _teenager?!"_

Huffing out a breath, Hunter sat up a little straighter in her bed, bringing a hand up to rest on her forehead. "He's not... Sammy, just... He's only twenty-three."

There was another long silence, and Hunter was sure that Sam was wearing a groove into Bobby's office floor, pacing back and forth like he always did when he was trying to calm himself down. "He's older than _me_, Hunter. He's almost as old as _Dean_," he finally said. Hunter was glad to find that his voice no longer sounded angry, just concerned. "He's not going to like this," he sighed.

She didn't need to ask who Sam was talking about - she knew that he had meant Dean. "Why do you think I called you?" she asked desperately. "I want... I want everyone to get along, Sam. I just one date before I go to Madagascar, and I don't want it to be a disaster."

Sam sighed. "I get that," he conceded. "You're old enough to make that choice... but I'm not making any promises. I'll take him out for a few beers tonight if you're okay on your own. I'll try to warm him up to the idea."

Hunter let out a long breath. "Sam, have I ever told you how much I love you?"

Sam chuckled. "You better," he said seriously. "I gotta finish work though... and then work on Dean. I'll try to get us home at a decent hour."

"Sam..."

"I know, I know," he laughed. "You can take care of yourself. Ninja and all that. Either way, we won't be late."

"Okay," Hunter agreed. "Thank you."

"Sure thing, kid."

Sam hung up the phone without saying goodbye, something Hunter had become used to. She set her phone back on her bedside table, flopping back on to the soft pillows of her bed. She laid staring at the white stucco ceiling for a few minutes before she reached for her phone again. She sent out a text.

_Hey, Cas... You busy tonight?_


	4. Texts

**A/N: Just the texting, which is lame and overdone and yada yada... but I think its cute. I love texts in stories. So, deal. And hopefully love it.**

**Pay attention to the times, because it seems like it all happens faster than it really does if you don't :P  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Texts<strong>

**16:39 C:**  
><em>I have class at 8. Why do you<em> ask?

**16:40 H:**  
><em>Want to come over to my place?<em>

**16:43 C:**  
><em>I thought dinner was Thursday. What about your<em>  
><em>brothers?<em>

**16:44 H:**  
><em>Going out after work. Sam is going to try to <em>  
><em>convince Dean not to kill you. So, I have the house<em>  
><em>to myself.<em>

**16:44 C:**  
><em>Address? <em>

**16:45 H:**  
><em>LOL. Why so eager all of a sudden?<em>

**16:45 C:**  
><em>No reason. Address?<em>

**16:47 H:**  
><em>220 Pine St.<em>

**16:48 C:**  
><em>Ten minutes.<em>

**16:48 H:**  
><em>Comb your hair.<em>

**16:50 C:**  
><em>Twelve minutes.<em>

**16:51 H:**  
><em>Text me when you're here.<em>

**17:01 C:**_  
>I'm at your door.<em>


	5. Only A Kiss

**Chapter Five: Only A Kiss**

Hunter's heart was threatening to escape her chest as she walked to the front door.

_He's just Cas. The same Cas you've been hanging out every morning for the past year. No reason to be nervous_.

She repeated this in her head like a mantra, trying her best to pretend like her hands weren't shaking and her feet weren't completely numb.

_I can do this, I can do this, I can do this_.

Hunter's hand touched the door knob and she took a deep breath, closing her eyes briefly to collect herself before opening it to reveal the sexiest man she had ever met.

Cas stood with his hands in his jean pockets, his eyes on the floor. His hair was neater than usual, like maybe he had actually taken the time to run a comb through it. Hunter was tempted to mess it up on principle alone. He wore a different button down shirt (actually buttoned up, for once) than when she had seen him that morning, but the Sesame Street t-shirt poked out from beneath the collar, big birds feathers showing over the top botton, and Hunter couldn't help but smile.

Just as Hunter thought that maybe she should say something, Cas looked up at her through his eyelashes, a shy smile on his face. "Are you going to invite me in?"

Hunter couldn't help it. She giggled. Straight out girly-girl giggled. "Do I need to?" she teased.

A brilliant smile broke out over Cas' features as he lifted his face to look at her, crossing the threshold and closing the distance between them. Before Hunter realized what was happening, Cas's hands had found her face and his lips had descended upon hers. Hunter couldn't help but let out a small gasp before melting against him, her hands winding up his back and pulling him closer. It started out as something sweet... Cas' lips were soft against her own, his movements gentle and somewhat shy, but the mood quickly changed when Hunter darted her tongue out, unable to help herself from tasting him.

Cas let out a small groan, opening his mouth and pushing his tongue between her lips, one of his hands falling to grab at her waist as the other moved up to wind in her cinnamon hair. She moaned in complaint when he pulled away from her lips to rest his forehead against hers, his breath coming in short desperate gasps. He kept his eyes closed as he tried to regulate his breathing, twisting his head when Hunter tried to catch his lips again. Her breath fell across his face in a frustrated huff.

"Don't stop now," Hunter complained as she grasped at his hips, fingers twisting into his belt loops as she pulled him against her. She was surprisingly strong for her size. "We were just getting started."

Cas chuckled (the sound sending an involuntary shiver down Hunter's spine) as he pushed away from her to close the front door.

"And that's where we're staying," he said as he the latch on the front door clicked. Then he turned and gave her another breathtaking smile, one hand reaching out to brush her cheek lightly, before he headed into her house like he owned the place. She stood rooted in place, lips still tingling, as she tried to figure out what had just happened.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, so I know that last two were really short, which is why I'm posting them both today. Also, it's Valentine's Day, so I thought there should be some kissing xD Might have another little tidbit up tonight, depending on how my muse treats me... Please review, guys. I really want to know how I'm doing so far!**


	6. Not So Smart

**Chapter Six: Not So Smart  
><strong>  
>Hunter trailed behind Cas as he wandered through her house inspecting various and completely random things. He stopped in the living room first, his fingers running over the small ivory angel that Mary had bought at a garage sale for Dean before he was even born, a small and wistful smile playing on his lips. The look vanished as he moved on, next stopping beside the old record player beside the T.V. He fell to his knees beside it, flipping through the few records that Sam had insisted they keep in the living room. He paused to look at an Elvis record, his head tilting slightly to the side before he straightened the records up and moved on again. Next he examined the bookshelf, fingers running over the spines of the books, a small chuckle coming from his lips before his hand fell and he moved on to study the photos on the walls.<p>

This went on for almost an hour.

Hunter followed Cas as he moved around her house, touching random things. Sometimes he chuckled or smiled, as though he was in on some sort of private joke. Other times his brow would furrow and a darkness would come over his eyes before he shook himself and moved on. It was the strangest thing she had ever seen. She didn't know what to do... so she just followed him as he made his way around her home.

Finally Cas stopped at the base of the stairs, turning to face Hunter. "Can I see the rest?"

"The rest of _what_?" Hunter finally demanded with a sigh. "You've been walking around _'seeing things' _for the last hour, and you haven't said a damn word. What are you looking for?"

Cas chuckled, sitting himself down on the stairs, his hand absently reaching up to pull open one of the buttons of his shirt. "I'm not sure, yet," he smiled. "I'll know when I see it."

Hunter rolled her eyes. "Because _that _isn't creepy at all."

Cas chuckled again, shaking his head as he looked up at the ceiling. "_Now_ she thinks I'm creepy," he murmured to himself - or to a God of one sense or another - before meeting Hunter's eyes. "I just want to get to know you better. I didn't mean to creep you out." The small cocky smirk on his face had Hunter sighing and rolling her eyes again.

"And what have you learned so far from examining my _brother_'s house?" she asked, putting extra emphasis on the word brother, hoping that he understood that nothing he had examined so far had been hers.

He undid another button of his shirt, again almost absently, as he stared at his shoes. He took a deep breath before meeting her eyes again with a serious look. "Your oldest brother is over-protective and he cares far too much about taking care of others to even think about taking care of himself. The younger one is a hopeless romantic who always sees the best in people despite what they do or have done and he's also somewhat of a nerd, academics and D&D alike. They both love you more then they'll ever admit and the older one especially is massively overbearing. They treat you like a baby, though maybe the younger one not so much, despite the fact that you are clearly able to take care of yourself. Oh, and I'm pretty sure that they have taught you ten ways to kill a man in hand-to-hand combat, probably as soon as you moved in with them. How am I doing so far?"

Hunter just stared, mouth agape, unable to form a response. Had she told him those things? She was sure she hadn't. They had never talked about family before. So how the hell did he know all of that just from walking around her house? Was he _stalking_ her?

"I'm not stalking you, Hunter," he smirked as he watched the gears turn in her head, easily guessing her thoughts. "I'm just very perceptive."

Hunter closed her mouth, shaking her head, turning away and heading towards the front door, opening it.

"Get out."

Cas' smile quickly faded, his eyebrows drawing together as he stood, his big blue eyes pleading. He raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Hunter-"

"No," Hunter snapped. "I _said_ GET. OUT."

Cas crossed his arms, a curious look coming over his face as he stared Hunter down. God, she could drown in those eyes, but what he had 'guessed' at still hung at the forefront of her mind, and she held her ground.

"No," he surprised her by saying.

Hunter scoffed. "_Excuse me?_"

"I said _no_," Cas said, not moving from where he stood in front of the stairs. "You may have heard of it. It is the opposite of _yes_."

Hunter stalked towards him, the door behind her still open. "If you know so much," she growled as she advanced, stopping just a foot from him, leaning in to glare up into his eyes, "you'd know not to _fuck around_ with me and just _get_. _The. Fuck_. OUT."

Cas grinned widely for just a second before pulling her towards him by her wrist, his lips once again crashing against her own. Hunter had no time to react before he pulled away, side stepping her half-fumbled attempt at grabbing his arm. He quickly moved behind her, stepping just outside the door and laughing lightly. "I'm out," he said. "Now all you have to do is close the door. I'll leave if you just close the door."

Hunter stood frozen in place, her eyes narrowed at the cocky boy just outside her door, her lips still tingling from his violent kiss. If she was smart, she would have slammed the door in his face, maybe after kicking him in the groin for good measure, and never, ever visit that damned library again. If she was smart, she would have called Dean and told him that this boy had kissed her without her permission. If she was smart she would have broken every one of his fingers and maybe socked him in the jaw...

Well, it turned out Hunter wasn't as smart as she thought she was.

"I still think you're a stalker," she bit out before turning and stalking up the stairs. She added over her shoulder, "My room is the second on the left."

There was a soft chuckle from behind her as she heard the front door close.

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><p><strong>AN: I hope this is pleasing since I kind of ripped you guys off with those last two chapters being so short! Reviews would be great, but I'd be even happier if you just followed the story. Things are just about to heat up ;) Love you, darlings!**


	7. Shudders

**A/N: Okay, so I'm soooo excited to have 17 followers! I didn't think this story was really going to go anywhere, but apparently, I was wrong. Thank you so much to all of you who have decided to give it a chance! Much, much, much cyber-loves to you! Also huge amounts of cyber-loves to the 13 of you who made this story a favourite! I just hope you all will start to review, because I'd love to hear from you guys. Anyway, without further ado, CHAPTER 7!  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter Seven: Shudders<br>**  
>Cas entered the room like a ghost - the chill in her spine being the only indication that he was there. Other than that, there was no sound. She somehow knew he had stopped just inside the doorframe, despite that she was facing the window, her back to him. "You can come in," she said quietly. She heard the lightest of chuckles and a rustle of clothing and rolled her eyes.<p>

After a few moments, Hunter turned, unable to pretend like she didn't care about his presence in her room. She found Cas examining the knives hung on her wall, a small frown on his face as he ran his fingers lightly over a particularly shiny machete. "Don't touch that!" she gasped, jumping forward to slap his hand away. He gave her a confused look, his eyebrows furrowing, as she grabbed a rag from the top drawer of her desk and carefully wiped away the slight smudges his fingers had left on the blade. She let out a long sigh as she threw the rag to her desk, running a hand through her hair, eyes closed. "Just.." she started before meeting Cas's confused gaze. "Don't touch them, okay? Please."

Cas's eyes lit up with something like understanding before he nodded. "Your dad gave it to you." It wasn't a question, but Hunter found herself nodding anyway. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I should've known. It was my mistake."

Hunter barked out a laugh. "How should you have known?" she asked incredulously.

Cas shrugged. "It's the one you take the most care of. The rest aren't as well cared for," he said as he gestured to a bowie knife that Sam had given her for Christmas the year before. "Though I have to admit, when I imagined your room, I really didn't expect a knife collection and aikido awards."

"What _were_ you expecting exactly?" Hunter scoffed. "Barbies and flowers?"

"Yeah, actually," Cas chuckled. _God, _that chuckle would be the death of her. It sent a chill through her body every time. "I thought it would be really girly, especially considering how good you look all the time."

Hunter had to frown at that. Was that a compliment, an insult, or both? Sure, she was kind of girly looking, but she _was_ a girl. She liked to do her hair and wear make up and look pretty... but did she really _act_ girly? Most of her friends made fun of her being such a tomboy (despite her immaculate hair and make-up) especially because of her ever present jeans and t-shirt. Plus, she never did girly things. She hated shopping and gossip, and tended to lean more towards watching MMA and seeing who could spit the furthest. She had always been one of the guys. She realized suddenly that she had been standing there saying nothing for a few minutes, and Cas was waiting for her response.

"Uhmm..." she said uncertainly. "Thank you?"

There it was again - that breathtaking smile. Hunter's breath caught in her throat, and she was unsure if she would ever be able to breathe properly around this guy. If he didn't keep that damn smile off his face, there was a good chance that the answer to that was "No."

"You're welcome," Cas deadpanned. He turned away from Hunter then, moving to make his way around the rest of the room. He examined the various photos she had taped to the walls, mostly of her and her brothers with a few scattered here and there of friends from school. He inspected her CD collection critically, finally nodding to himself as though in approval before going to examine her large bookshelf, his eyes widening a little before he turned to her. "Have you read all of these?"

Hunter felt a blush coming over her cheeks as she looked away from him, unsure if she'd be able to speak while looking into those brilliant blue orbs. "Most of them," she admitted quietly. "The top shelf, save the last five, are on my 'to do' list."

"Hunter," Cas breathed, his fingers running over the spines of the books on the second shelf. "There's, like, two hundred books here."

"Two hundred and forty one," Hunter corrected. "Not counting the non-fiction books, which are on the bottom shelf." She looked up at Cas to see his eyebrows raised in disbelief. "What?" she said defensively. "I like to read."

"Apparently," he smiled turning back to the book shelf. "And organize. These are alphabetized."

"Is there any other way?"

Another shiver went through her spine as he laughed.

"Why do you do that?" Cas asked suddenly.

"Do what?" Hunter shot back as she sat on her bed. "Read? Organize?..."

Cas shook his head. "No. When I laugh, it's like... you shudder. Why?"

Hunter's eyes shot to Cas's and then quickly away, focusing on a photo on her wall of her brothers, Bobby and her at Bobby's place on her sixteenth birthday, purposely avoiding his eyes as she said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She saw Cas move out of the corner of her eye and felt the bed shift as he sat next to her. "You're a terrible liar," he observed. He was quiet for a moment before asking, "Is it because you like it?"

Hunter rolled her eyes as she turned to look at him. "Why would you think that?"

"Because," Cas said quietly. "You do the same thing when I do this..."

Suddenly Cas's lips were on hers again for the third time that night, and as Cas had predicted, a shudder ran through her body at the feel. She felt him smile as his hands found her face, fingers curling around her cheeks as he titled his head and slid his tongue along her bottom lip. When she gasped, he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth, easily finding dominance as she moaned into him, her hands twisting in his shirt as she pulled him closer. Eventually he pulled away, leaving her gasping and blindly searching for his lips. She instead found purchase on his jaw and left a steaming trail of kisses along his jaw leading up to his ear, where she bit his earlobe lightly before whispering, "Why do you always _stop_?"

She felt Cas gasp into her neck, his fingers now completely wound in her hair. "Why do _you_ always make it so hard to?"

"_Don't _then," Hunter said insistently, pulling away to meet Cas's eyes. "_Don't stop._"

Cas looked at her like he _really_ wanted to keep going, his pupil's dilated and his breathing rough, his moist lips parted as he seemed to fight a war within his own mind. Finally he pulled Hunter in for one, tiny chaste kiss before untangling his fingers from her hair and pulling away. "I have to," he whispered. "I have to do this right."

Hunter sighed as she let go of his shirt, turning to put her face in her hands. "You're so frustrating," she huffed through her fingers.

Cas sighed, too. "I know," he replied. "But it's better this way. You deserve respect, and I'm going to give it to you."

Hunter rolled her eyes behind her fingers before turning to look at Cas. "That is so fucking cheesy," she stated.

With a huff of laughter, Cas responded, "I know."

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><p><strong>AN: Sooo, who else shudders when Misha laughs? Just me? Oh... well... this is awkward.**


	8. Chicken and Beer

**Chapter Eight - Chicken and Beer**

Cas had stayed until just before eight, laying next to Hunter on her bed as they played twenty questions. It was sweet, and romantic, and incredibly frustrating... because all Hunter wanted to do was rip his clothes off and ravish him until he couldn't form words. Instead, they shot questions back and forth, getting to know each other better as their fingers explored each others hands and they stared at the ceiling. Most questions were trivial - the kind of thing you'd ask anyone. _What's your favourite color? Where were you born? Who's your favourite super hero? How many siblings do you have?_ Hunter was surprised when Cas answered the last one with an astounding six. She had Sam and Dean. She couldn't imagine being one of _seven_... especially because Cas _lived with all of them_. She could only imagine the headaches that would come with such a thing.

The one question that had stuck in Hunter's head now, however, as she finished grilling the asparagus to go with the lemon chicken she had cooked (Dean's favourite... it couldn't hurt to butter him up) was the question _What is your full_ _name_? Cas had looked over at her, his whole body shifting and tensing as he said "Next."

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><p><em>"No," Hunter said, piercing him with a steely look. "You have to answer. Those are the rules."<em>

_Cas stared at her with a determined gaze for several moments before he eventually sighed. "Castiel James Novak."_

_"Castiel?" Hunter asked, her eyebrows shooting up to her hairline. "Isn't that an angel's name? _That's_ what Cas is short for?"_

_Cas just shrugged. "We were all named after angels. I got the short end of the stick," he scoffed. "The Angel of Thursday. How majestic." _

_Hunter had giggled, which seemed to be becoming a habit in Cas's presence. "And let me guess... it's because your brother's are all named after the archangels."_

_"I only have three brothers," Cas said. "But yes, they have archangel names. I guess I got lucky, all things considered. The only one left after Michael, Lucifer and Gabriel was Raphael. I have to say, as much as I dislike my name, it's better than being a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle."_

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><p>Hunter was pulled out of her reverie as a loud bang signaled the return of her brothers, the front door being opened with more force than necessary. Apparently Sam had taken <em>a few beers<em> as _a few more than a few_. She rolled her eyes as she went about setting the table, distributing the asparagus and wild rice before pulling the chicken from the oven. It was just after ten, and Hunter knew that tomorrow would be hell for all of them, but this needed to be done. Sam entered before Dean, giving Hunter a small smile before Dean entered, swaying just the slightest bit.

"HUNTER!" Dean exclaimed with a big smile, stalking towards Hunter with open arms.

"No, no, no," Hunter complained as she tried to dodge her oldest brother, holding her tongs up like a weapon in front of her futilely.

"Oh, yes!" Dean laughed as he pulled Hunter into a rib-crushing hug. "I _missed_ you!"

Hunter shot Sam a desperate look, but the bastard just smiled, sitting down at the table and grabbing a piece of asparagus.

"Dean," Hunter choked out. "Ribs. Breaking."

Dean laughed again as he let go of Hunter, his eyes falling on the table. "You made chicken!" he cried, plopping down in front of his meal. "And rabbit food! Hey, Sammy! Hunter made rabbit food and chicken!"

"I know, Dean," Sam chuckled. "I'm eating the 'rabbit food' right now."

Hunter took the chance to go to the sink and fill a glass of water, handing it to Dean. "Drink this," she commanded. Dean didn't even fight her, downing the entire thing before handing the empty glass back to her. She filled it again before taking her spot at the table, setting the glass next to the plate of food Dean was digging into. Hunter raised an eyebrow at Sam, silently asking _what the fuck?_ Sam just smiled as he scooped rice into his mouth. They ate in relative silence for a while. Once Dean's chicken was gone and he had finished his second glass of water, the questioning began.

"So," Dean said looking over at Hunter with glazed eyes. "A librarian. _A fucking librarian_."

Hunter looked over to Sam, hoping for his support, but he seemed intensely focused on moving his rice around his plate. She sighed as she turned back to Dean, who's eyes hadn't left her. "Yes," she finally said. She decided to keep it simple. After all, Dean was drunk, and she was tired, and she wanted him to just agree to not kill the guy. The less he knew at this point, the better. After all, Castiel had a certain way of charming people. Maybe they would get along... and maybe she'd start shitting diamonds... you never know.

"Sam tells me he's my age," Dean continued as he reached across the table to grab Hunter's chicken. "So, please, tell me why I shouldn't kill this pervert."

"Because he's not a pervert," Hunter scowled, tossing her fork on to the table, her temper getting the better of her. "He's a good guy. And you're not that much older than me and neither is he!" Hunter realized that she had raised her voice in her frustration and took a breath before continuing. "Look, Dean... I just want a date. I just want some semblance of a _normal_ life." Dean opened his mouth to speak, but Hunter held up a hand, cutting him off. "No, you're going to listen for once, Dean."

Dean's eyebrows shot up and his jaw dropped, but apparently Hunter's shock tactic had worked, because instead of coming back with a snappy retort, he just shook his head and waited.

"Good," Hunter said. "So, now that you're listening..." She took a deep breath, casting a quick glance to Sam who gave her a reassuring nod. Facing Dean once more, she began her rant. "You are a great brother, and I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I'm done with this _she's the baby_ bullshit. I am eighteen years old and I haven't had a date or a boyfriend or any chance of one since moving in here because of you. At this point, however, I'm telling you that I _want_ this and I'm also telling you that I _will_ have it. Introducing him to you is only a formality but I still expect you to show me the same damn respect I've been showing you for the last three years. I'm begging you to respect my decisions and let me make my own mistakes, if that's what this is, because that's _my choice_ to make, and God knows I deserve to make some mistakes after how hard I've worked. I love you, Dean, and I always will, and I respect that you're only trying to protect me, but I'm not putting up with being treated like a child. Not anymore."

Hunter kept her eyes on Dean's, both of them too stubborn to look away. It went on for almost a full sixty seconds before Dean finally broke down into hysterical laughter. "Well, fuck," he gasped, a hand holding his ribs. "When you put it like that, I wish the guy luck. You're insane."

With a roll of her eyes, Hunter stood, gathering her plate and Dean's empty glass and tossing them into the sink. "I'm going to bed. Good talk."

And that's how she ended up, four hours later, laying flat on her back as a hand pressed over her mouth while blue eyes smiled down at her.

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><p><strong>AN: I'm trying here, guys. I know there's some love through the faves and follows but just PLEASE comment... please? I need you... to comment. Haha, I make myself giggle :D But really. Please comment?**


	9. My Hunter

**A/N: Oh Holy Chuck, I am terrible for this taking so long! I'm soooo sorry. But hey! You guys are a lovely bunch of people. I'd like more reviews, but I LOVE that there's 21 of you following this, and 15 of you who favourited! You are all amazing people, and thank you so much for putting up with me! And thank you even more for reading my story at all. I swear, you're each getting one dirty dream of your choice, courtesy of my own dirty thoughts!**

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><p>Hunter didn't think - she just reacted. Her right left hand flew up to clasp around the intruder's wrist, the one of the hand covering her mouth, her thumb pressing hard in to the pressure point there. There was a slight yelp that was cut off by her right fist connecting with the bastard's jaw. As he toppled to the left she used his momentum to roll them both to the floor, her grip on his wrist never lessening as she flipped him to his stomach and pressed his wrist up between his shoulder blades, her left hand slamming down on the opposite shoulder between the bones to keep him from lashing out with the other hand. She straddled his back, her legs hooked over his to keep him in place as she leaned down to hiss in his ear.<p>

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?" she demanded between clenched teeth. The whole altercation had taken place in maybe ten seconds.

Cas gasped beneath her. "I just wanted to see you," he whispered harshly. "I didn't think you'd kick my ass for it."

Hunter let out a fake laugh as she put more pressure on his shoulder blade, pulling another gasp from Castiel's lips. "I'm starting to wonder if you're imbalanced. Sneaking through my window? Yeah, pretty stalker-ish move, Cas."

"I thought it was romantic," he sad quietly. She could hear the smile in his voice. "Some Romeo and Juliet type shit. But hey, if you like it rough, I'm game."

Hunter scowled as she let her grip loosen, pressing her thumb into the pressure point on his wrist once more for good measure before releasing him and pushing off him to stand. "I could have killed you," she whispered as she moved to her bed. "Hell, I should _still _kill you. What the hell are you doing sneaking through my window?"

Cas rolled over onto his back, rubbing at his wrist as he looked toward the ceiling. "I saw the Hunter in the sky," he said in a low, distant voice. "But it wasn't _my_ Hunter. I had to see my Hunter."

Hunter was silent for a few moments, unsure what to say and hoping that Cas would elaborate. He just stared at the ceiling, his eyes slightly glazed as if deep in thought. With a sigh Hunter asked, "What are you talking about, Cas?"

"The stars. You're there, in the stars, but you're not," he whispered, his brow furrowing slightly. "How could you be there? You're here. But you're there... and you shine so brightly, but the clouds hide you."

"Cas," Hunter said cautiously as she slid down to the floor next to him. His eyes remained on the ceiling, as though seeing something she couldn't. "Cas, are you _high_?"

Cas let out a low laugh, his eyes sliding shut. "Generally, yeah," he smiled.

"What the hell are you on?" Hunter demanded.

"Adderall. Mostly."

When he didn't say anything more, Hunter pressed on. "Mostly?" she prompted.

Cas looked at her then, his expression serious, though his eyes were still a little glassy. "You're worried."

"Cas, what the fuck are you taking?" Hunter demanded, sudden panic seeping in to her voice. She had seen Sammy take all sorts of drugs when he was in college. She didn't want to see anyone go down that same path. Not to mention that John had been on heavy drugs before his death, his death even being determined an O.D., no autopsy necessary. She cared about Cas. She couldn't even fathom the idea of losing him, not now. Not after they had finally begun to grow closer. "Castiel, please.. tell me."

Castiel's too blue eyes focused on hers, a look of confusion coming over his face and forcing his eyebrows to draw together. It was only a few seconds before he turned away, his eyes back on the ceiling. "Coke. Sometimes meth, but that's only when I can't get the Adderall or coke." He glanced over at Hunter nervously before his gaze returned to the ceiling. "I need to be awake. I need to be _focused_. I need it, Hunter."

Hunter sighed, her face falling in to her hands. She took slow, calming breaths, never looking at Cas, never breaking her routine of calming down. She breathed deeply through her nose, exhaling through her lips, counting to five each time. Cas remained silent. Finally, about three minutes later, she pulled her head from her hands to look at him and was met by a wary blue gaze.

Cas swallowed as her eyes met his own. "You're angry," he conceded. "I understand... but please... try to understand why I do this."

Keeping his gaze for several moments, Hunter finally sighed, her head shaking slowly. "I'll never understand, Cas," she admitted. "I'll never understand because I've never been there."

With a slow nod, Cas pushed himself up to his elbows, looking over at Hunter with glazed eyes that she now knew had nothing to do with emotion. "Then let me ex-"

Castiel's words were cut off by Hunter's door opening suddenly and Dean entering the room, his eyes taking a minute to adjust to the darkness of her room after leaving the brightness of the hallway. "Hey, Hun, I heard some noise. Are you okay?"

Hunter froze at the same time Dean did, his eyes taking in the boy laying on her floor.

"_You._"

Hunter tried to jump up and stop the conflict, but was quickly shoved aside by Dean. She fell unceremoniously to the ground, her breath leaving her in a huff as Dean grabbed Cas by his button up shirt, pulling him to his feet in a swift and practiced movement. "You must be the librarian," he growled.

Cas grinned. He actually fucking _grinned_. "That's me," he admitted with a smirk, making a joke of Dean's murderous glare, seeming to not care at all about the murderous look on his face. "Your sister is hotter, by the way."

Dean growled before slamming Cas in to a wall, Hunter's shriek barely heard as Dean proceeded to let Cas know how he felt with his fists.


	10. What In The Actual

"Dean! Dean, stop!" Hunter screeched as she reached out for her brother's fist before it once again collided with Castiel's jaw. The fingers of her right hand dug in to the same pressure point she had used on Cas earlier and Dean yelped, his body twisting involuntarily to push off the intrusion. Hunter ducked as he swept his left hand out in reflex, her own left arm sweeping out at the back of Dean's knees as she had ducked, effectively knocking him to the floor with a loud huff. She kept her grip on his wrist, loosening her fingers slightly but twisting his arm outwards, causing Dean to make an undignified noise before a leg swept under hers, knocking her to the floor as well.

Dean was over her in a second, pinning both of her arms to the floor. "What in the actual FUCK, Hunter?" he growled.

Hunter stared back at him, her green eyes cold. "Leave him alone, Dean," she growled back, baring her teeth. "He's mine."

Dean rolled his eyes before pushing off Hunter, standing and flexing his arm out as he glared daggers at Castiel. "What the hell have you done to her?" he demanded, his words coming out in a gravelly, threatening timbre.

Sam appeared in the doorway then, a machete in his right hand and his eyes promising death to anyone who dared step in his way. He froze when he took in Hunter, Dean and Castiel. Cas's lip was bleeding, as was his nose, and he was taking deep breaths as he held a shirt sleeve to his face, trying to stem the bleeding, his face unreadable as he held Dean's gaze. Dean, of course, was staring daggers at the librarian, his left hand massaging his right wrist as he twisted it around, as though checking for broken bones. Hunter stood off to Dean's side, her eyes focused on Dean with an uncomfortable intensity, her body tensed and hands fisted, as though she wanted to rip out his innards and strangle him with them. Sam lowered the machete catiously, his grip never loosening as he tried to take a neutral stance.

"Some one please tell me what is going on." Two identical pairs of green eyes turned to face him. Cas's eyes stayed fixed on Dean.

"This little punk-" Dean started, a finger jabbing towards the librarian, but he was quickly cut off by Hunter.

"Castiel came to see me. Dean over-reacted."

Dean's head snapped around, his eyes focusing on Hunter. "Over reacted?" he snarled. "He snuck through your fucking window!"

Hunter had opened her mouth to retaliate, but Sam beat her to the punch. Surprisingly, it wasn't to berate either of his siblings, but to address Castiel. "Are you okay, man?" he asked. "Your lip is bleeding."

Castiel's eyes finally left Dean to meet Sam's concerned gaze, his posture shifting to show something close to nervousness. "I'm fine," he bit out, his hand falling from his face. "I'll just leave now." He shot a quick glance to Dean before meeting Sam's eyes once more. "If that's okay."

Sam nodded and Castiel looked towards Hunter, giving her a look of absolute adoration and longing before exiting the room. His footsteps were heard by all three until finally they heard the front door open and close. A collective sigh was heard throughout the room, all three seeming to have been holding their breath as Castiel left.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, guys... I don't think I'm continuing this. I appreciate each and every one of you for reading, but for the Love of Chuck, I am stumped as to where to go from here...**

**Thank you, again, to all of you who have followed and favourited this story.**

**If you guys still want to read this and have any ideas on where it should go, I would love to hear them, and I'll try to work with them and give you guys more. As it stands right now, though... I'm abandoning it, at least until I can find reason or inspiration to write more**.


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